🚀 Why SpaceX Blew Up Starship

Dylan Jardon
Dylan Jardon
3 min read

Yo you know this Twitter troll?

Ya, Elon Musk.

He’s kinda scared for humanity.

Why? Because we’re dummies…and we tend to mess stuff up. So his job is to dummy-proof us.

Now, he might be a genius — but let me break down his master strategy in 2 drawings.

How Elon sees the world:

Ya, that’s it.

But there’s only 1 problem.

That backup Earth aka Mars is really f*cking far away.

Like spend-a-year-flying-super-fast-in-space-to-get-there far. Sucky.

Oh wait.

I forgot, there’s actually 2 problems.

Earth is really f*cking big.

Which means it’s chock-full of humans. So we need a serious space ship to get us to Mars.

Or for us math nerds:

Now simplified:

We need a big ship.

Luckily, Elon’s good at multitasking cars, tweets, and space — so he gets to work.

Elon calls it STARSHIP.


Elon slaps his old Starship on top of his new beast – Starship Super Thicc.

No, wait they’re telling me that’s not the name and to grow up.

It’s actually Starship Super Heavy.

Less fun, but this heavy hog is still the most powerful rocket ever built.

You want the specs?

  • 394 feet tall – like a football field but up
  • 32 Raptor engines – the most powerful rocket engines in history
  • 100 ton payload – the weight of 1 statue of liberty or 1,000 plump adults

How’s that stack up against the greats?

Ya, Starship is also the biggest rocket ever.

Oh and did I say it’s fully reusable?

This would drop the price to send payloads to orbit by 2 orders of magnitude – from $10,000/kg on Saturn V to $100/kg on Super Thicc.

Translation: Space shipping & handling is basically FREE.


But this is great in theory.

Now we gotta…you know…put it to practice.

Ya, it blew up.

Bummer. But that’s SCIENCE 🌈

It’d be great if we could send humanity to Mars in one go and not have everyone explode like human fireworks.

BUT…new & groundbreaking technology always has its kinks.

Look at the Wright brothers.

In 1908, Orville crashed their Wright Flyer into a photographer and killed him instantly.

Or – less morbidly – Edison.

He tried 6,000 different materials for his lightbulb before finding the one that worked. Plus, he didn’t even invent the lightbulb, dammit.

Or Einstein.

The clown didn’t even believe black holes existed.

Science is full of mistakes – remember trial and error?

So Elon, hats off for the trial and the error.

Mars, enjoy your last few years in peace.

We’re coming in hot.

Crush Ass,
Dylan & Henry 🌈

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