History of Cheese 🧀
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Hey cheesehead,
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8ea84a171224fb9ebf_1__6_.gif)
Are you alone?
Good. Lock the door.
Now come close, and watch me spread something.
Ready?
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8e46246b4a9f47799d__0000_2.webp)
You like that? That’s my hottttt grilled cheese 🤤
Okay, unlock the door.
Because today, we gotta figure out the story of all this gooey goodness – CHEESE 🧀
But to do that, we gotta first dust off the old time machine.
MARTY!
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8e0e9ba17843ea6d1d__0001_3.webp)
Dang.
Still hitting on your mom, huh.
What about the hot tub guys?
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8e46246b4a9f4779b9__0002_4.webp)
Ya, okay dude…really crushed it with the sequel.
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d46610b54ccf51ac531250_CleanShot_2023-08-09_at_23.35.52_2x.webp)
Wait, look over there…
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8e2945d3d1adde84e5__0003_5.webp)
Ms. Frizzle!
The Magic School Bus!
Let’s jump onboard.
Okay, bus—do your stuff!
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8e185cd42be1e3d3cc__0004_6.webp)
So it’s the Fertile Crescent, 8,000 BC.
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8edbcf40192ba9d199__0005_7.webp)
That’s a long time ago.
Like so long ago we haven’t yet invented writing, metal, or even money.
But what do we have?
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8edbcf40192ba9d1a9__0006_8.webp)
GOATS!
Goats are awesome.
We use ‘em for meat, leather, and uh….
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8f185cd42be1e3d52b__0007_9.webp)
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f9041d822041fa98e25__0008_10.webp)
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![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8fef069028435f6b0d__0010_12.webp)
MILK!
Milk is a magic udder sauce chock-full of proteins, fats, and minerals — perfect when all 5 million humans on Earth are starving.
But Anu notices something…
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d43f8f0e9ba17843ea7018_Goat.webp)
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d466129ef4c30ca76ce57f__0013_15.webp)
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d46612a00a2605c9c6dda1__0014_16.webp)
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![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d46612b54ccf51ac5315ef__0016_18.webp)
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d46613b54ccf51ac5316ad__0017_19.webp)
Anu gets busy.
But during the business, his goat milk gets blasted by the sun.
So after a few hours, it begins to sour — and Anu returns to this…
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d466138dd9c8473e8bf77a__0018_20.webp)
A weird reaction happened…
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d46612b9fca9695be8ec52__0019_21.webp)
The proteins clumped together forming…
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/649aa49e57793ed61ecbd3fd/64d46612c3fe7ac0b0f2e7c3__0021_23.webp)
Ya, delicious cheese.
See these yellow globs are a miracle food.
Not only can you eat them as a fresh curd or spread — but they also give you a HUGE survival advantage.
How?
- No lactose – Lactose is milk sugar. Old humans were lactose intolerant, so drinking milk would give them a tummy ache…no good. But the bacteria that turn milk into cheese EAT the lactose. So now we get all the nutrients without pooing our loincloth.
- Storage – You can easily preserve cheese for hard times like winters and famines. No die = happy.
But today, death is less of a concern.
Our hard times are going to Whole Foods and deciding if we should buy aged brie or smoked gouda for our Charcuterie board.
So thanks for the tasty picnic, Anu 🙏
Crush Ass,
Dylan & Henry 🌈
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