🔭 Who the f*ck is Galileo?

Dylan Jardon
Dylan Jardon
3 min read

There are a few absurdly famous people in history that I know nothing about.

Here are some:

But we’re missing one unknown genius: Galileo.

He’s a big deal — especially in the world of science.

But don’t take my word, take Einstein’s:

No, Einstein, the other thing…


But to get that sweet title, what did Galileo actually do?

Here’s the story.

Galileo Galilei is born in 1564…

…Pisa, Italy.

Now Galileo’s dad wants him to be a doctor.

No seriously this is what doctors looked like then.

Like kinky birds with top hats.

Carrying on.

Ya. Galileo’s a baby…a big baby.

So his dad tries again 17 years later.

Then his dad dies.

(Side note Galileo’s dad dies thinking his son’s a loser – not the future father of modern science 🥲)

So anyway….Galileo studies math.

But then he hears of this funky new Dutch technology – the telescope.

Ya, Galileo points his telescope to the heavens.

And discovers cool space things:

And one more thing…

That’s the Pope.

And he likes the universe the old way — with the Earth at the center.

So he doesn’t take the news well…

Like I said, he doesn’t take it well.

So much so that he puts Galileo in adult timeout – house arrest…for life.


But at home Galileo writes a heliocentric book dissing the Pope — which goes viral.

So soon after, the Catholic Church officially admits that the sun is the center of our solar system.

Way to be progressive, religion!

Oh wait. My bad. By “soon” I meant 359 years after…in 1992.

So I guess the lesson is:

Crush Ass,
Dylan & Henry 🌈

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