🍄 Why Are Truffles So Expensive?

Henry Belcaster
Henry Belcaster
3 min read

Morning, mushroom head! 🍄

It’s Sunday date night.

You’re out with a baddie (solid 9 according to the boys).

Where?

Well, her Hinge said :

So there’s an obvious move…but your Mom raised you right…so you drive right by that Olive Garden and take her to the finest Italian restaurant.

Time to impress.

You order two of the priciest Wagyu risottos.

Risky…especially since payday isn’t until Thursday and your Groupon isn’t valid on weekends.

But you’re investing in your offspring – so buon appetito.

Wait, stop!

You’re exuding an air of weakness.

And the waiter senses it….

Ciao bella!

See truffles have been bankrupting simps since the Middle Ages.

‘Cause they’re stupid expensive…this one on a pillow sold for $61,250.

But why?

Well, imagine you’re walking through a forest.

And, actually, you’re a big fat piggy.

Good.

So you’re just going about your day.

When all of a sudden, you smell something insanely strong. So you start digging ferociously.

You uncover a MASSIVE tree root system.

But wait it’s also FULL of mushrooms.

It’s the coveted Tuber melanosporum – a black truffle.

See these truffles grow on trees just like apples…but underground.

Oh and they got these:

A giant web of little stringy things – called mycelium.

The truffle’s mycelium pull in water and nutrients from the ground. Which the truffle trades with the tree for sugar.

It’s nature’s capitalism 💰

But why are truffles so expensive?

They’re RARE.

Well, not truffle oil…that’s fake oil made in the lab to smell like truffles.

Real truffles only grow a few months a year and spoil immediately – 5 days after cutting and their smell is 50% gone.

That’s why we use truffle sniffing pigs to find em.

The only problem?

These pigs also tend to immediately eat the truffles they find.

So now it’s a job best left to trained dogs.

Stay Cute,
Henry & Dylan 🌈

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