Why Night Owls Are Screwed (But Also Secretly Superior)

3 min read

Morning... Night Owls!

Derd owl

No, lmao.

It’s a figure of speech, Derd.

Like the people who thrive at night and feel like absolute garbage at 6 AM.

And then they have that annoying coworker (🙋‍♂️) who’s up and at ‘em doing jumping jacks in the office at 9 AM.

Ya, that kind of night owl.

Well, here’s a fun one for ya.

It turns out you can’t control this.

Being a night owl or an early bird is determined by your DNA..

Why??

Well, 100,000 years ago, you're living in a cave with your caveman tribe...

Careful, guys!

If everyone falls asleep at the same time–!

Ya. You're all dead.

So evolution's all like:

And it works!

This sleep DNA thing – some peeps stay up to guard, other peeps get up early to hunt – gets passed down for thousands of generations...

But today... Society runs on a 9-to-5 schedule.

That’s a huge problem when your ancient night owl DNA is like:

Derd tired

No, it’s not useless, hang on!!

But it does create what scientists call:

Ya. You're living in permanent jet lag... every single day.

This damages your brain by reducing your white matter - the brain's highways for feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine.

So night owls have higher rates of depression, anxiety, and addiction.

But this gives night owls... SUPERPOWERS!!

You're more creative!

Have higher cognitive abilities!

Are natural risk-takers with higher cortisol levels - leading to more financial success!

CHA-CHING BABY!

So next time someone tells you to "just go to bed earlier," you can tell them your DNA literally won't let you betray your ancient tribe-guarding ancestors.

Succ on dat.

Btw, we’re doing a whole series on why we dream, watch the full crazy video here 👇

Stay Cute,

Henry & Dylan 🌈

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